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Characters

ROMEO
JULIA
ALLEN
CLOVER
BETTY
BRIDGET
GREGORY
JOHN
BEN
LAWRENCE
EMMA
ANGEL
WAITER



Scene I – The Confession
(ROMEO JULIA CLOVER BETTY BRIDGET ALLEN BEN LAWRENCE)
ALLEN
(reading from a book)
"Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean…”
BEN
(walks up to Allen from behind and peeks over his shoulder)
Wha’cha reading? (ALLEN closes the book and shows the cover) Ooh! Romeo and Juliet!
LAWRENCE
I didn’t know you liked classics!
ALLEN
I’ve always liked Shakespeare’s plays.They have a certain feel to them that make them familiar…
BRIDGET
Omigod! Look!
(ROMEO enters, walking towards ALLEN.)
CLOVER
It’s Romeo!
BETTY
Wow… he’s so handsome…
JULIET
(gets up)
Romeo!
(ROMEO turns around and looks at her.)
JULIET
(voice suddenly small)
Um… Hi, Romeo.
ROMEO
Hey. What’s up?
JULIET
Oh, ah… I, you.. Your clothes! They, um.. fit you very well…. (awkwardly)
ROMEO
Oh.. Uh, thanks? You look pretty charming yourself.
JULIET
Really? I, um, have something to tell you.
ROMEO
What is it?
JULIET
Uh. Well… You forgot your math book in Mr. Montague’s class. Here!
ROMEO
Oh! Thanks! (turns away again.)
JULIET
Wait! What I meant was… I like you! (determined)
(ROMEO and JULA freeze action)
CLOVER
Oh. My. God.
BRIDGET
Did you hear what she just said!?
BETTY
Yeah! Can you believe it!?
BRIDGET
She’s so… fat!
CLOVER
And black!
BETTY
And way too flat! (points to JULIA’s breasts)
ROMEO
(shocked) Oh. I like you and all, (Julia looks very hopeful) but I want a thin girl. (Julia’s head falls down.)
(ROMEO and JULIA freeze again)
BETTY
Hah! Re-jec-ted~!
CLOVER
Serves you right!
BRIGDET
What did you think would happen!?
JULIA
(becomes determined again)
That’s alright. Give me some time! I’ll become thin and slim!


Scene II – Weight Control
(JULIA ANGEL EMMA)
JULIA
(enters hesitantly before finally stopping before the desk.)
This must be the famous weight control center…
ANGEL
Welcome to “Perfect Woman.” How may I help you?
JULIA
I’d like to talk to your manager.

ANGEL
Please wait a moment.
(EMMA enters)
ANGEL
Oh, Miss Emma! There’s someone asking for you.

EMMA
(walks over to the two)
Hello, I’m the manager here. How may I help?

JULIA
I want to become thin in a very short time.

EMMA
No problem, a lot of people want to get thinner in a shor time. You’re not alone. Let Angel show you.

ANGEL
(takes a pile of papers from the desk and skims through it quickly, before handing the papers to JULIA)
Okay! First of all, trust that you can make it through! Here, we have two programs. The first one includes “aroma oil massage” “aroma oil treatment”, and “acupuncture.” It’s quick, efficient, and mostly painless. Here’s the catch… It’s only twenty thousand dollars!

JULIA
Oh…

ANGEL
The other option is much cheaper, but it’ll take a while longer. It includes “aerobics,” “acupuncture,” and “spa.” This one is only ten thousand dollars.

JULIA
They both of them sound great! But.. I don’t have any money….

EMMA
What?

ANGEL
No money?

EMMA
No money at all?

(JULIA nods.)

EMMA
Ugh.
(claps hands twice, and two strong men come in and throw JULIA out.)

EMMA & ANGEL
Get out of here!

Scene III – The Restaurant
(JULIA BETTY CLOVER BRIDGET WAITER)
(JULIA, BETTY, CLOVER, and BRIDGET are sitting at a table. A WAITER walks towards them with a notepad.)


WAITER
Can I take your order?

BRIDGET
A cheeseburger, a large coke, and French fries.

BRIDGET
Hamberger and a large milkshake please!

CLOVER
I want a Caesar salad and a medium sprite please!

WAITER
(after scribbling down the orders, he turns towards JULIA)
Anything for you?

JULIA
Please give me a cup of water and some crackers.

(All others look surprised at JULIA)

WAITER
Is that all?

JULIA
Yeah…. I’m trying to lose weight.

WAITER
Right then, I’ll be right back with your order.

BETTY
Still bent on Losing weight?

BRIDGET
You should just give up. There’s plenty of other guys out there.

CLOVER
Hate to say it, but Romeo’s kinda out of your league.

JULIA
No. I will become slim! (passes out)

Scene IV – The Classroom Revisted
(JULIA ROMEO GREGORY JOHN BEN LAWRENCE)


JULIA
(bursts onto the stage)
I’ve become so thin! I can scarcely recognize myself! Now Romeo will accept me. (shouts) ROMEO! Romeo, where are you?

ROMEO
I’m here, but… who are you?

JULIA
Why it’s me, Julia!

ROMEO
Julia? Is that really you? Why, I can hardly recognize you! You look so different.

JULIA
Yes, I went on a diet. Will you go out with me now?

ROMEO
Oh. But I like girls with fair complextion….

JULIA
Oh…. Okay. I can do that. Wait for me, Romeo!

(JULIA exits. ROMEO begins chatting with ALLEN)

LAWRENCE
Ouch. She just got rejected. Again. Should’ve guessed though.

GREGORY
She’s not so bad, really. It’s just what happens when a girl goes after ROMEO.

BEN
It’s a shame really. She’s not the prettiest, but I would have accepted her confession in a heartbeat!

JOHN
Dream on, lover-boy! There’s no way you can compete with the almighty Romeo!

(At this, the four boys collectively sigh.)

BEN
I just don’t get how he could reject every single one of those girls.
JOHN
Not everyone is as obsessive about girls as you are, Ben.

:LAWRENCE
Still, he just hangs around Allen all day. What’s so great about him anyways?

Scene V – The Beach
(JULIA GREGORY JOHN BEN LAWRENCE CLOVER BETTY BRIDGET ALLEN)


GREGORY
Hey Julie! It’s a great day outside, and we’re going to the beach! Wanna come with us?

JULIA
I’d love to! But… I wouldn’t want to get a tan….

JOHN
Aww. Everbody’s going!

ALLEN
Do come with us, Julia.

LAWRENCE
Yeah, come on~ We even got Allen to come!

JULIA
But I…

CLOVER
Don’t worry, we won’t be out for long!

BRIDGET
Yeah, so just come with us~

JULIA
Alright, just.. let me get ready.

(JULIA exits.)

BETTY
You done yet?

JULIA
(enters, with long-sleeved shirts and pants, a large hat, a scarf covering her face and sunglasses)
Yeah, I’m ready.

(Everyone stares at JULIA’s attire.)

JULIA
What? I don’t want to get a tan.


Scene VI – Third Time’s a Charm
(JULIA ROMEO GREGORY JOHN BEN LAWRENCE ALLEN)


GREGORY
Hey Julie! Will you go out with me?

JULIA
I’m sorry, but my heart already belongs to someone else.

GREGORY
You mean… Romeo?

JULIA
Yes.

GREGORY
Julie, Romeo’s not going to….

JULIA
(cuts him off) Look, Greg. I’m sorry, but I can’t return your feelings. (slows down after seeing GREGORY’s hurt expression) I’m really sorry, Gregory.

(Gregory walks dejectedly to his friends.)

LAWRENCE
Rejected?

GREGORY
Yeah…

BEN
Don’t worry, she does that to all the guys that ask her out. From the looks of it, you had it pretty light.

JOHN
Speaking from experience, lover-boy?

BEN
Shaddup, John! (turns to GREGORY) Don’t feel bad, Greg. If it makes you feel any better, I got rejected too.

(Gregory only sighs again.)

LAWRENCE
I don’t think that helped, Ben.

JOHN
What I don’t understand is what she sees in that Romeo anyway.

(ROMEO and ALLEN enter.)

JULIA
Romeo, my love! I’ve become a thin girl with a fair complexion! Would you become my boyfriend now?

ROMEO
Julia! Wow, you’re like a completely different person! But… there’s one litte problem.

JULIA
What is it? I’ll fix it right away!

ROMEO
Your bosom’s not my type.

JULIA
Oh… um. Okay…

ALLEN
(disapprovingly) Was that really necessary, Romeo?

ROMEO
Sorry ‘Len, but she is really persistent.

ALLEN
I kinda feel sorry for her.

ROMEO
Yeah, but she won’t bother me again, I think. Hey, let’s go get something to eat, okay?

ALLEN
Alright…



Scene VII - Finale
(ROMEO JULIA GREGORY JOHN BEN LAWRENCE CLOVER BETTY BRIDGET ALLEN)


BETTY
Did you hear? Julia went to Korea!

CLOVER
I heard she went to get plastic surgery.

BRIDGET
Plastic Surgery? Really?! Why?

BETTY
Well, Romeo told her last time that her bosom’s not his type…

CLOVER
Yeah, so she flew all the way to Korea to have plastic surgery.

BRIDGET
That’s… crazy!

(Julia enters)

JULIA
Romeo, my love! I’m back! I’ve missed you so much, but now I think I am worthy of being your wife! Don’t you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world? You would love to be my sweetheard, wouldn’t you?

ROMEO
Wow… I don’t know what to say…

JULIA
Just say ‘I love you,’ and all will be perfect.

ROMEO
But, uh. I still cannot accept you.

JULIA
What? Why!?

ROMEO
I already have a boyfriend.

JULIA
WHAT?!

ROMEO
So yeah… Sorry for not telling you until now. I didn’t know how to say it.

JULIA
A BOYFRIEND?!

GREGORY
I tried to tell you.

JULIA
You knew about this?

(The boys nod and agree.)

CLOVER
We didn’t, but we kind of guessed.

JULIA
A… boyfriend.

(ALLEN enters.)

ROMEO
Speak of the the devil. Allen, honey~

(ROMEO and ALLEN exits, hand in hand.)

-end-

So... I saw this. When I found this, my eyes were definitely *kira kira*... Only 1, 3,  and 5 are out right now. If you know Chinese and like BL, you've simply gotta watch it. My favorite ones are 2-5.. XP I can't wait for it to come out.  In the mean time,  I'm writing something to go with it. It's not the same, since I don't want my  sloppy writing to desecrate them, since I can only write in English.... and I also changed some plot details to make it different, but... still it's based on that....

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七世随终 -- EndfollowerCollapse )


Translations of Names (roughly)

凤玥 Fengyue – Phoenix Pearl
天玉 Tianyu – Heavenly Jade


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Gaia Username: muranya


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Babel fish is fun! I laughed so hard after some of the translations. Here are some examples:

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